Notes On: June Recap, Friend F(r)iction, a Bratty Genny Lec & Your Personal Gift Guide
The Female Friendship Edit <3
Dear Noters,
And so another month drifts by like candy floss clouds. Was it not just yesterday that I wrote to you for the first time? I think the process of writing these (and you reading them) each month is going to feel a bit like finding a crevice of quiet amidst the swirling busyness of life. A moment to reflect, to read, to look inwards and outwards at the same time: inwards to our pulsing hearts, outwards to that wide, wide sky. I hope so, anyway.
For the newcomers: welcome. This newsletter is designed to be read in a very specific way: on Sunday morning, to the accompaniment of your favourite drink. Mine is a soya vanilla latte, which Iโm sipping as I write this. Iโve also lit a candle, because itโs raining outside and when it rains outside, I light a candle.
This edition of the newsletter will focus loosely on friendship. But not just any friendship: complex female friendship. The kind that makes you ache, or yearn, in moments of friction. The kind that makes you cry when you open a birthday card from them, because the way they see you is so much more special than the way you see yourself. There will be pop culture analysis (of course), reading recommendations, poetry, and also a self-gift guide, because Iโm a firm believer that you should get yourself a tiny gift at the end of every single month, because you deserve it. Read that last bit again. You deserve it.
Noteworthy
Friend or Frenemy? Itโs so confusing sometimes (being a girl)ย ย
The internet blew up this week because Charli XCX released a track called โGirl, so confusingโ on her album Brat, which she wrote about her complicated relationship with Lorde โ and Lorde actually responded.
Charliโs lyrics were raw, and honest, in the kind of way that most pop stars (and most people) arenโt. She said things like: โI donโt know if you like me / Sometimes I think you might hate me / sometimes I think I might hate you / maybe you just wanna be me.โ She described eating at an Italian restaurant but finding nothing to say. And โ perhaps most fascinatingly โ the unique pain of competing with a friend (โcanโt tell if you wanna see me / falling over and failingโ).
The song said: are we friends, or are we just pretending? Do you like me or hate me? Do I even want to be friends? I donโt know.
And the internet was listening. But then, when they released the remix in which Lorde responded with her own lyrics? The internet collectively gasped.
Lordeโs version tells a classic tale: she was insecure, she was struggling, she was slightly enamoured by Charli. She had no idea that Charli felt this way.
This, of course, made me think not only about frenemies (and how the patriarchy โ and the Internet โ like to pit women against each other, particularly in the music industry and particularly if they look alike), but also how weโre so often wrong about people. How we attribute their actions to how they feel about us.
Itโs such an honest, unfiltered, artistic approach to working out complicated feelings between two young women, and it makes me feel so hopeful, and so seen. Because friendships are complicated. Relationships are complicated. We are complicated! And embracing these complications โ as opposed to shying away/ignoring them โ is just so refreshing.
Fan F(r)iction: Can you really be friends with your idol?
So hereโs a meta saga if you ever heard one: Tavi Gevison (a writer once known for her world-famous fashion blog, and subsequently teen magazine Rookie) is a long-time superfan of Taylor Swift (Iโm not sure if youโve heard of her?).
She was the kind of fan who wanted to be Taylor Swiftโs best friend (honestly, join the club). And she did become friends with her. She actually did it. But ultimately, their friendship fizzled because Tavi wanted it too badly. A sad story. But it doesnโt end there. Tavi Gevison wrote a really quite special Zine about the whole situation from her perspective of fan-turned-friend-turned-fan again. You can read it here (and I really suggest you do, her writing is really quite something).
But hereโs the twist: Tavi Gevison had her own fangirl, Annie Hamilton, who wrote a piece for GQ last week entitled: I Finally Befriended My Idol Tavi Gevison. Would It Fall Apart Over Taylor Swift? Yep, I told you. Meta.
In the article, Annie writes about her obsession with Tavi: how it started, developed, the highs and lows along the way which tell the kind of story that might one-day turn into a serialised TV drama with actors like Daisy Edgar Jones and Florence Pugh sharing glasses of wine in tiny New York bars.
And it gets even better: in the GQ piece, Annie copies and pastes Taviโs own response to the piece, where she essentially takes on an editorial role, asking Annie to โremove the bit about me wanting people to read my Zine.โ Annie obviously didnโt remove that bit, which makes for a viral moment - and potentially the death of an already wrought friendship?
In both of these scenarios, it strikes me that two things remain true: 1) friendships can be complicated and loving at the same time and 2) watching flawed, famous women โwork it outโ in the public sphere is absolutely captivating.
It really is so confusing, being a girl, but itโs also really quite fun when you get to map all the connections between these things. Hereโs what I mean: ย
Itโs a Love Story, Baby Just Say โFuck the Patriarchy!โ
Taylor Swift bringing Travis Kelce on stage to quite literally carry her as she swooned was iconic behaviour not only because itโs such a cool way to hard launch, but also because heโs really providing a wonderful example of how to be an uncomplicated, uncontroversial, supportive white cis-het man. Love that for him (and the many men who might be watching).
Obsessing
Face masks (the hydrating kind)
Early nights (the soothing kind)
Frozen grapes (the frozen kind??)
Watching Reality TV about cheerleading (donโt ask me why, itโs an incredibly random obsession)
Examining other peopleโs keys (they tell you a lot about their personality)
Hair masks
Ice rollers
Gracie Abramsโ new album
Puff skirts
No-make-up-make-up (which means concealer, eyebrow gel, and nothing else)
Running very early in the morning (even though Iโm terrible at it)
Banana bread with melted chocolate in the middle
Voice notes that are so long they might as well be podcasts
Podcasts that make me spit out my toothpaste with laughter
Graphic Tees with fruit on them (lemons, cherries)
The idea that Taylor Swift wouldnโt have written โYou Are In Loveโ without Lena Dunham and Lena Dunham wouldnโt have written Girls without Nora Ephron and Dolly Alderton must have been inspired by Girls (and Nora Ephron) when she was writing Everything I Know About Love and EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED! (I love art). ย ย
Texts (The Female Friendship Edit)
Swing Time by Zadie Smith is about a complicated relationship between two long-time best friends. Zadie never shies away from the difficult stuff: this work truly is a piece of art (and it always makes me grateful to have such wonderful people in my life). And the cover is really quite aesthetic. Always a plus.
Everything I Know About Love is essentially a love letter by a twenty-something to her female friends. Read it and weep (no, really, youโll cry).
Youโve probably seen Queenie everywhere (especially as thereโs an adaptation out right now), but this is a wonderful read.
The Girls by Emma Cline is an acute (and beautifully written) snapshot of how it feels to be a young teenager in a group of girls. Itโs cultish and brilliant.
Ottessa Moshfeghโs My Year of Rest and Relaxation dances along the same lines as Charliโs song: to love and hate a friend at the same time is A Very Confusing Thing. ย
In the Company of Women by January Gill OโNeil will make you want to savour every single coffee you ever share with a friend again (โNo makeup. No tears. Only contours. Only curvesโ). Sob.
Eating Together by Kim Addonizio describes the most painful of scenarios: contemplating losing a friend. Your heart will break. Your eyes will leap back up to the top. Youโll read it again and again.
And finally, a poem I wrote, called โFavouritesโ, about my best friends. Because they will always be in the โfavouritesโ section of my phone; whether we live next door or across the world from each other, whether weโre stuffing ourselves with post-pub chips on the kitchen floor or whispering to each other on the phone as one nurses an infant and the other meal preps, hundreds of miles away. Theyโll always be my favourites, because โ to quote Winnie the Pooh โ thatโs what friendship means.
(P. S. I will only ever recommend reads I enjoyed. There are so many others that could fall under this category, but I just thought Iโd put this PSA in here now โ my taste is very specific, but I want to be true to myself and to you all in my reccs!)
Educated by
So the UK election is literally next week and WE HAVE TO VOTE.
Iโm pretty sure Iโm preaching to the converted, here, but something has to change. Itโs really quite scary to watch what might unravel if we donโt get out in droves. (Side note: I think Labour should jump on the Brat trend, because they really do seem to be loving the meme format on TikTok right now, and what a crossover THAT would be).
This is a really great piece about how celebrity endorsement might be dying, which is applicable both in the UK and the US: I love the phrase โThe Tortured Geriatrics Department.โ Howling. Give it a read.
Oh, and also, if you know anyone who might be on the fence about voting this week, send them this. Itโs a short (and really very powerful) film about the multitude of difficulties young people are facing right now; the housing crisis, the job crisis, the mental health crisis, the how the hell do we navigate a burning world let alone try to change it crisis.
This is a really great article about being on the โright side of now.โ People always talk about being on the right side of history, but what does being on the right side of the present look like, in the context of the conflict in Gaza? A quote from the piece: โRadical change happens in diametrical opposition to the limited imagination enshrined in the future perfect [โฆ] โthings are always vulnerable to interruptionโโ. In other words: history is made in the now. (Hereโs a link to donate, too, if youโd like to).
Saved
Your June Gift Guide (because you are your own best friend, and you deserve a gift)
Let the Games Begin by Rufaro Faith Mazarura promises everything you want in a summer read: romance in sizzling heat, set to the backdrop of the Olympics. It comes out on the 18th, but you can pre-order it here.
(P. S. I literally never do brand deals. Anything I recommend is just because of vibes. If Iโm ever paid to recommend anything, itโll be incredibly clearly signposted).
July is the colour aquamarine. Or turquoise. If it were a creature, itโd be a mermaid. If it were a thing, itโd be a bubble. If it were an idea, itโd be the freedom that comes with a whole summer of excitement stretching out before you. If it were a book, Itโd be Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid. If it were a piece of clothing, itโd be a white dress, maxi, starched cotton. If it were a song, itโd definitely be written by Lana Del Rey and contain lyrics like โred lipsโ and โlong hot nightโ and โyouโre just like smoke / I wanna have you.โ July is for saying yes to plans because youโre only going to be this age once, and rosรฉ doesnโt keep for long. July is for kicking off your shoes at every chance you get. Itโs for swimming in the sea and staycations and sending postcards to best friends from your home town and painting in watercolour on a clifftop, because thatโs something you can do. (Iโll be posting the full โNotes On: Julyโ next week).
Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for reading. Every letter I type is a pinch-me moment. Paid subs โ Iโll see you on the group chat (and let me know what youโd like me to write about for the next newsletter!). ย
I hope you have a month full of starry-eyed moments and belly-aching laughter and fried asparagus with salt perched on them like crystals. I hope you find the art in the everyday and contentment in the moments in between the housework and the work-work. I hope you feel inspired, and loved, and seen.
Until next month,
Hannah xxx
Very quick notes on your notes on x
- I also light a candle when it rains, which at this rate is every afternoon.
- When it comes to the history of the patriarchy pitting women against each other, I recommend looking into the history of the word "gossip" if you are not already familiar.
Cheers June
I love your writing so much! It's so soothing, yet engaging (so is your TikTok).