Notes On: May Recap, Baby Reindeer Predictions, The Hunger Gala, Patti Smith, Sabrina Carpenter, and The Things We Hold

Welcome to my first ever newsletter (it's been a long time cominggg) <3

Dear Noters,

I genuinely feel like a lead character in a Nora Ephron film as I type this. Let me set the scene: soya latte perched on an IKEA desk, stacks of books, an Emma Bridgewater radio, a pomegranate scented candle, a maroon Papier notebook in which I’ve scrawled the phrase ‘notes on notes on’ and written nothing else except for lots of hearts. A mug-turned-pen-pot. My phone, some ‘intense’ eyedrops, a pair of tangled headphones. And me: huge jumper, baggy jeans, full of hope and anticipation as I type this first instalment of our newsletter.

Yes, I’m calling it ours, firstly because I already feel so connected to you, and secondly because I want it to be just that: ours. Which means there are rules for you, too (you know how much I love those). Here they are:

• First, never feel as though you have to read it. If you can’t bring yourself to open it, one month, that’s okay. I never want this to feel like another thing you have to read. In a world in which we’re bombarded by stuff, all the time, I want this to add, not overwhelm. That being said, thank you so much for supporting me. It means the world. 

• Second, this newsletter is intended to be read in a very specific way: Sunday morning, drink in-hand, the comfiest clothes you own.  Of course, you can read it in whichever way you’d like to (on the commute, just before bed, on the loo), but I just thought I’d let you in to my vision for it. (Also yes, I know, this 1^st one is coming out on a Saturday, but from now on it’ll be the last Sunday of every month).

• And finally: I want to hear what you think. I want you to comment your opinions, your obsessions, your late-night thoughts. I want to create a community that feels like a girl’s bathroom and a seminar all at once. There is no such thing as a stupid thought.

This first newsletter will be slightly different, in that I’m spending a lot of it explaining things. But here I go again (to the tune of My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys).

I came across an incredible piece in The New Yorker recently, called ‘How to Live Forever’. The subtitle read, ‘the simplest, most fool-proof way to extend life is to do so backward, by adding years in reverse’ – and all at once, I was hooked. It’s basically a whole essay about the beauty of creating a chronicle of life in retrospect, through lists and receipts and letters and emails.  This made me think about how we – Millennials, Gen Z, Zillennials, whatever we are – use our Notes App: for everything and anything. Shopping lists. Train times. Passwords. Instagram captions. Notes to self. Break up texts. They hold the scraps of our lives which, when compiled, chronicle something that gets very close to the truth of who we are: messy, emotional, funny, contradictory, heartfelt, angry, unapologetic. There’s a reason that viral tweet is so viral (and that it prompted a whole TikTok trend):

There truly is nothing more interesting than a woman’s Notes App. Write it on my tombstone. 

I really like the idea of pulling it together, of creating a digitalised diary comprised of soupçons: recommendations, books, fears, hopes, secrets, ideas, longings, lipsticks, late-night thoughts, and so on. Each newsletter will be structured – like the ‘weekly R.E.P.O.R.T.’ TikTok trend – on the word ‘Notes’:

         N: Noteworthy (pop culture moments, things I can’t stop thinking about)

         O: Obsessing (pretty much what it says on the tin)

         T: Texts (books/articles/poems)

         E: Educated by (also what it says on the tin)

         S: Saved (a peak into my saved folder from across the Internet)

With that said: welcome to Notes On. I hope you love it.

Noteworthy

Hungover Diaries: Baby Reindeer on Toast

• I watched Baby Reindeer, whilst hungover, between Toast Breaks where I – yep, you guessed it – made toast with butter and either put cheese or honey on it, depending on the time of day.

• At some point, probably around episode five, I googled ‘the real story behind Baby Reindeer.’

• A few days/weeks passed. I heard rumours about the ‘real’ Martha. I didn’t really pay attention to them. Then Piers Morgan did a very Piers Morgan thing and I thought – as a journalist, as someone who cares about pop culture – I should listen.

• I then spent a lot of time feeling conflicted about this decision, as well as googling ‘the real story’ in my hungover slump because – yes – I definitely shouldn’t have. But here I am. Yearning for the ‘truth’. Like everyone else.

• My lukewarm take? Piers should absolutely not have done that interview. Netflix should absolutely not have aired a show which quite obviously points to a very specific perpetrator. The internet should absolutely not have done what the internet always does (abuse/doxing). And so it goes: a Shakespearean tragedy playing out on our screens. Impossible to look away.

• My warmer take? Baby Reindeer went so viral because it deals with emotions with nuance. Female rage. Male incompetence. Transphobia. The idea that we are neither ‘good’ nor ‘bad’ but somewhere in-between.

• My hot take? There will be a documentary about this, in a year or five. And I’ll probably watch it hungover.

Why We Still Need Feminism, Reason #4,334,284,456,245,162: That Chiefs Guy’s Speech

• I don’t want to write out his name because I don’t really think he deserves it.

• I could not believe what I was watching.

• What I will say, is I’m obsessed with the reactions to it online: women and girls everywhere being intelligent and funny and incredibly astute. I’m so proud to be one of you.

‘She said Let Them Eat What?!’

• We live in echo chambers. We exist within a realm of our own creation. Every single app has a ‘For You’ section. Such is life in 2024. But influencers at the Met Gala saying: ‘let them eat cake’? Dressing to the nines in wigs and stilettos, dripping in diamonds (or rag-tag cardigans) – all at the same time as the invasion of Rafah?

• It feels like we’re living in The Hunger Games, which is terrifying and also paralysing. And it elicits in a lot of my peers a kind of apathy which wasn’t the case for previous generations: a mindset of what the hell can we do to change this burning world, anyway?

• If we’re not careful, we might drown under it: this apathy, this fear, this feeling of helplessness. So, we need to be careful.

• Because there are some things we can do. We can donate. We can sign petitions and march the streets with cardboard signs. We can be kind to strangers. We can be kind to ourselves. We can volunteer, and vote, and read everything we can get our hands on (essays, fiction, poetry, the news). We can try and change our little bit of the world. We can find the beauty in the crevices of the everyday, without forgetting the reality of others’ experience. It’s a delicate balance. But we can do it.

The Genny Lec!! (The General Election)

• We do have a say. We can change (our bit) of the world. Vote vote vote.

• (And follow Labour on TikTok, they’re actually quite funny).

Obsessing

• Chappell Roan (!!)

• Strawberries.

• Iced anything.

• Trying to learn the lyrics to The Tortured Poets Department. I’m getting pretty good, but I have no idea what the words are to Robin (sorry).

• The boxer shorts trend.

• The huge scrunchie trend.

• The ‘pay off our debts’ trend.

• Lena Dunham’s Girls (I’ve never watched it before. Of course I’m obsessed).

• Pornstar martinis.

• Early dinners.

• Gingham.

• Stevie Nicks’s hair.  

• Nokia bringing back that iconic phone.

• Saying ‘ciao’ instead of ‘bye.’

• The word ‘tsundoku’ (n.) which is a Japanese term for the habit of acquiring books, but letting them pile up unread. No, I know. How cool.

• Planning my summer (bucket list, teenage style).

• Coco Mellors.

• The song ‘Espresso.’

• Sabrina Carpenter’s 25^th birthday cake (it’s Leo DiCaprio saying ‘nooo don’t turn 25 your so sexy haha’).

Texts

• Long Island by Colm Toíbin (a sequel to Brooklyn). Searing. Beautiful. Terrifying. Quiet. All my favourite things in a novel.

• Just Kids by Patti Smith (inspires me to make art and keep making art and never stop making art).

• The poem ‘My Heart’ by Frank O’Hara. It makes me want to live.

• This piece in The Cut: The Real Reason Taylor Swift Dresses Like That.

• An interview with Ashleah Gonzales, the woman who turned Kendall Jenner into a Literary It Girl. She’s just released a book of poems and she’s so cool. If you’re a writer, reading this will feel like that first sip of coffee (unassuming yet inspirational).

• This piece in Dazed: Nobody knows how to be friends anymore. Because I’m obsessed with Ayo Edebiri and also it’s true: we’re getting dangerously close to proving Harry from When Harry Met Sally right, round about now.

Educated by

• This documentary: ‘Brandy Hellville’, which uncovers the murky truth beneath the once-loved brand.

• This podcast: The Cult of Lululemon – which tells a truly incredible story (seriously, you have to listen to this one).

• This piece in The New Yorker: Can You Read a Book in a Quarter of an Hour?

• And this one: Is “Love is Blind” a Toxic Workplace? (Spoiler: it is).

Saved  

• Now for the fun stuff. These are some random bits and bobs I’ve saved throughout May. I hope you enjoy.

And finally: this Instagram account, because ‘girls carrying shit’ feels like a very chic way of portraying the stuff women carry, from shopping bags to children on hips to the emotional load. Each picture tells a story. And each story is worth telling.

It reminds me of Maira Kalman, an artist who paints stories like these, and her piece of writing that reads:

It made me think of all the things women hold, literally and metaphorically.

Balloons and grudges

And heavy loads

And cabbages

And stupendous love and courage

And a pink ukulele under a cherry tree.

What do women hold?

The home and the family and the children and the food.

The friendships.

The work.

The work of the world.

The work of being human.

The memories

And the troubles

And the sorrows

And the triumphs

And the love.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly happy or content, I think I can provide sustenance for legions of human beings. I can hold the entire world in my arms. Other times, I can barely cross the room and I drop my arms frozen.

Right now, these are some of the things I can imagine you might be holding:

• Your phone (or laptop, as you read this).

• A list in the back of your mind of household items you’re about to run out of (fairy liquid, loo roll).

• A coffee (or tea).

• Some ideas of what to get your best friend for her birthday (and also your sister, and perhaps your partner’s sister, if you/they have one).

• Stress about work.

• Stress about a loved one.

• Stress about scrolling too much, or not exercising enough, or eating too many chocolate biscuits at your desk.

• Overwhelming (or conflicting) emotions.

• What you’re going to wear for that party or concert or dinner party you’re planning (why do none of the shops have sparkle-friendly clothes right now?).

• Hope for your week.

• Hope for your parents.

• Hope for the world.

• But it’s okay if all you can do is drop your arms, frozen.

June is giving: sun-bathing, home-made lemonade, sun dresses and beachy waves and reading until your neck hurts. It’s giving rosé al fresco and putting off tasks until a rainy day and not feeling guilty at all. I hope you wear some glitter, this month. I hope you read an excellent short story and send your friends an Instagram about how much you love them and eat a really, really good peach. I hope you find at least one thing beautiful, each and every day. I hope, at least some of the time, that thing is yourself.

Look out on TikTok later today for my full ‘Notes On: Spicing up June’ post.

Paid subs - I’ll see you in two weeks for another newsletter (and don’t forget to join the chat!) <3

Until next month,

Hannah xxx