Notes On: Staying Connected Without Falling Apart

From playlists to itineraries to resources to poetry, here’s your ultimate guide to staying connected without falling apart <3

“There’s a crack in everything,
That’s how the light gets in.”
— Leonard Cohen, Anthem

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
— Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

---

Let’s start with a vibe check. Earlier this week, TikTok went down and came back up in the US, positioning Trump as a hero just before his inauguration. An inauguration that ushered in a new, dark chapter, in which the tech bros rule elite. As The Cut put it: “The Broligarchy Is Here.” We already know a bit about the terrifying influence of these super-rich men over our social media feeds (The Great Hack is a great watch, if you haven’t already seen it). The difference, now, is that they’re no longer hiding it. You can’t load Twitter without seeing Elon Musk’s name. And, as of earlier this week, you can’t search ‘Trump election rigged’ on TikTok in the US. Not to mention the appalling things he’s already signed into being. At the same time, smoke billows across LA. It really is scary, this new reality.

And yet.

Here are some other things that happened this week: Molly-Mae gifted us three whole episodes of anxious-girl TV (non-derogatory), an extinct butterfly is apparently thriving again in England, and ‘kindness’ was named Oxford Children’s word of the year (I’m going to cry). Five baby pandas made their debut public appearance. Jeanette Winterson is back on Substack. Taylor Swift is (reportedly) working on a new album.

When I asked what you’d like me to write about this week, the responses were resounding. How to cope with it all? How to stay connected but also protect myself? In the age of the FYP, of Breaking News notifications, it can feel impossible. So, here’s a guide. From curating your news intake to playlists, recipes, itineraries and resources, this is your ultimate guide to finding pockets of hope amidst the dystopia. I hope it helps.

The Art Of Staying Connected (But Not Too Connected)

There really is an art to this. Because doomscrolling tempts us inwards. The news is never not new. There’s always something to watch, read, listen to. The trick, I think, is to curate your news intake. Make a habit of inhaling the news once or twice a day – no more, no less. Two deep breaths. Enough to fill you up, to keep you thinking, but not too much to overwhelm.

• Find a couple of sources that you really trust, and go back to them each day. My favourites include: The Daily Beans (a woman-owned progressive news podcast for your commute) and The Guardian Headlines, a newsletter which arrives in your inbox every morning.

• Next, as with any kind of curation, you have to set some boundaries. It’s time to turn off Breaking News notifications (or even, delete those apps). It’s very hard to feel calm when you have constant reminders of the terrible things that are happening, right now.

• And then – this bit’s important – download an app blocker. Not for the news apps, but for the social media ones. I’ve recently downloaded the ‘one sec’ app, which makes you ‘take a deep breath’ every time you try and open an app. I’ve found it really helps me be more mindful about whether I actually want to scroll, right now, or whether I’m just tapping on Instagram out of habit (usually, it’s the latter)..

• Finally, I think positive action really helps. Whether that’s donating to a trusted organisation, volunteering or attending a march, it’s a great way to feel connected with others who feel the same way as you. Aka, other humans who want to make this world a better place. (I’ve created a list of resources at the bottom of this newsletter, for those who’d like them).

Save All Your Romanticism For Your Inner Life (A Guide)

Okay, so you’ve chosen your news sources. You’re interacting with them in a boundaried way. You’ve downloaded app blockers and you’re finding that you have a lot more time on your hands, now you’re not watching cat videos interspersed with Taylor Swift performing ‘The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived’ and astrological reasons you might be feeling shitty right now. Here’s what you should do.

• Make a ‘notes app’ reading list for every book you’ve ever wanted to read. Read in the moments you would be scrolling. And for half an hour before bed every night. (I know, revolutionary! but I’ve been doing it recently and I’m obsessed).

• Do the same with recipes. What would you like to try? What have you saved on Instagram but never made? Make a list, work your way through.

• And – you know what’s coming – I want you to do the same with podcasts, and TV shows. Write lists. Save things. Get obsessed with new voices, new characters, new stories.