The Eras Method !!!!

Or: How to start the new year without fixing yourself

The New Year is one of the most exciting and overwhelming times of the year. It’s dark, it’s raining, you’re hungover, and at the same time you’re bombarded with all the things you should be doing to be a proper, actual, real adult (meal prep, 10k steps per day, glowing up and slimming down and being a good daughter and partner and maybe even mother and also recovering from Christmas and making goals and decluttering and reading more and definitely not just sleeping for 48 hours because you’re already exhausted from all that Christmas socialising).

I love the fresh snow, untouched, blank page, glittery feeling of the New Year. At the same time, I hate the pressure to find parts of yourself you don’t like and ‘resolve’ to change them.

My problem with New Year’s Resolutions comes primarily from the fact that they seem to stem from self-criticism. From strangling the parts of us that feel unpalatable; the parts of us that don’t fit neatly into tiny boxes.

Last year, the most common New Year’s resolutions in the UK were as follows:

• Get fit

• Spend less

• Lose weight

But according to Forbes, the average New Year’s resolution lasts between one and three months, with just 6% sticking to it for the whole year.

Personally, I love the concept – and the ritual – of setting goals. Of envisioning the life you want for yourself and working out how to get there. Of taking time to sit, pen-to-paper, and think critically about what you’d like to change, what you’d like to keep the same. I’ve never really set ‘New Year’s Resolutions’: instead, I define my life in chapters, with goals associated with them. Each chapter lasts for roughly three months, at which point I set aside some time to recalibrate. To look back and think about what worked, and what didn’t, before defining the next chapter, and goals within it. It’s an ongoing process: it touches the whole of my life, and – crucially – it comes from a place of self-compassion, as opposed to self reproachment.

image @7.77itgirl on IG

Culturally, of course, we’ve started calling these eras, and I think there’s something both helpful and dream-like about that language. It starts from within; it feels like crafting your life from the inside out. Of course, most of my goals take more than three months to achieve; this is an ongoing process. For me, it’s more about how I get there – how I craft this life of mine, each and every day, because – after all – right now is all we have.

Before you start, get into fresh comfy clothes, and put on a playlist that makes you feel tranquil, calm, ready for a fresh chapter. (I’ve been loving any kind of ‘lofi beats’ on Spotify lately).

(N. B. This approach is influenced by so many things: primarily the artist/athlete approach of ‘on vs. off season’ living, Taylor Swift’s Eras tour training, Eli Rallo’s journal-inspired approach to goal setting and Grace Beverley’s precision and tracking styles. As ever, none of these ideas are solely my own, but more so a patchwork of concepts I’ve found to be helpful from writers, artists and thinkers I love. I hope you love it too).

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Step 1: Journal + ask questions

This first step requires making time to reflect on your life as it is right now. Light a candle, leave your phone in another room, and take some time to answer these journal prompts:

• When do you feel most like yourself?

• What values are non-negotiable for you now (not 5 years ago)?

• If this year went perfectly, what would be different?

• What drains you the most week to week?

Once you’ve answered these questions, I want you to choose 3 of the following 6 categories. Each ‘chapter’ (or era) will revolve around three specific categories: choosing more than this will cause you to lose focus and will be harder to maintain.

• Health

• Work / career

• Relationships

• Finances

• Wellbeing

For each of your three chosen categories, respond to these journal prompts:

• What makes me feel good about this category?

• What drains me?

• In a perfect world, how does this integrate into my life?

• What small change can I make today to get closer to that goal?

images from Pinterest

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Step 2: Making goals that align

At this point, I want you to read back over what you’ve just written, and think of 1-2 clear goals for each of your three categories. These need to be SMART goals:

• Specific

• Measurable

• Actionable

• Relevant

• Time bound

In the words of Grace Beverley: ‘If you don’t set a measurable goal, you can’t reach it. You can’t tick something off if you don’t know you’ve done it.’

So, instead of writing ‘do more exercise,’ write something like: 1x Pilates class every week. Or, if your goal is to see more of your friends, write ‘plan 2x monthly in-person meet ups with X’. This makes it so much easier to stick to.

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Step 3: Define your era

Now you know what your goals are, it’s time to think about what links them together. Is there a common thread? You might realise that this chapter is all about rest and recalibration, making boundaries and saying no; staying in and hibernating and learning how to make a really good latte. Or it might be about discipline: getting up early in the morning to run, for example, and never cancelling your fitness classes or flaking out on plans. Here are some chapter titles I’ve had in the past:

• Rest and reset

• Social butterfly (this was when I’d moved to a new city and wanted to meet people / find a community)

• Lock in (reading + writing)

For each era, you should not only have a title but also a defining thesis, or mission statement. The idea behind this statement is that it is your guiding light to keep you on track, to help you from falling back into the habits you were in before.

Basically: if something doesn’t fit with your mission statement, you simply don’t do it.

Here are some examples:

• I build fitness habits I don’t need to recover from

• I protect my attention and direct it toward what actually matters

• Does it bring me closer to X or X? If not, don’t do it.

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Step 4: The non-negotiables

This step is all about creating the space for you to reach your goals, from a lifestyle perspective. How can you craft a life that makes it easy to reach your goals? These are rules to stick to on a daily and weekly basis. The building blocks on which the glittery, exciting bits exist. You should have at least five, and no more than fifteen. Here are some examples:

• Sleep schedule (9.30-6/7am)

• App blocker time-limits (between 6.20pm and 8.30am every day, with more windows for work blocks each day)

• Boundaries reset (this is very specific to you, but they should be aligned with your goals)

• Weekly movement that you LOVE.

• Go-to stress relief (mine is meditation/long shower/reading)

• Podcasts to hyper fixate on (I’m loving the Sentimental Garbage Friends series right now!).

From here, write your era name, mission statement, primary goals and non-negotiables into your notes app and pin them at the top.

At this point, I make a weekly habit tracker. (For paid subs, you’ll receive yours in this month’s zine, which drops on the 2nd January).

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Step 5: Aesthetics

Finally, it’s time to move to Pinterest.

At this point, it’s time to change your music to something upbeat and in-keeping with your goals. Something that inspires you.

Create a new board and name it whatever you chose for your era title. Choose very specific images that align to either your goals or your lifestyle non-negotiables.

At this point, you should also choose a song that defines your chapter.

When you have your completed board, create a vision board in Canva. You can then download it and set it as your phone background.

(Paid subscribers - I’ve created an editable template for your vision board, and phone background, which you’ll have access to on the 2nd!).

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Step 6: REWARDS !!!

For every 4 weeks you complete, you should give yourself a little reward. This could be tiny (a lip gloss, a lie in) or bigger (a candle you’ve had your eye on, a new hardback, half a day just to rest and walk and chill and not think about anything you have to do). But rewarding yourself on a regular basis is a fundamental part of this system: and you do not have to achieve everything on your list to reward yourself.

Most months, I only do 70-80% the things I’ve said I’ll do. And that’s okay. Because YOUR WORTH IS NOT RELATIVE TO YOUR PRODUCTIVITY!!! (Read that again).

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And finally:

This approach isn’t about hitting all your goals, or punishing yourself for not doing so. It’s about taking some time to consciously plan for the life you dream of: to take tiny, tangible steps towards making this a reality. Because if you shoot for the moon, well, you might just land amongst the stars. (Or something).

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P. S.

As a little thank you for such an amazing year on here, annual subscriptions to Notes On will be half price between now and next week.

Paid readers get access to a seasonal zine, every single month, called ‘The Noters Club, which is filled with ideas and essays and recipes and guides. If Notes On is a window in, The Noters’ Club is the room itself.

Here’s a taster, if you’re interested but not sure about subscribing.

Thank you SO MUCH for such a wonderful year. I’ve loved writing to you and reading all your thoughts and ideas and comments. I feel so wonderfully lucky to be able to do this. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!